Some of the most amazing people in my life are teenage girls.
Seriously! Some of the funniest, smartest, most talented, beautiful young ladies I’ve ever known are girls I’ve had the privilege of loving, watching grow up, and cheering on.
And if you’re reading this and we’ve never met, you’re included, too! Consider me another Titi in your corner. ❤️
Now, can we talk for a minute?
Recently, I was reminded of something I wish someone had told me when I was your age.
Don’t lose yourself trying to be loved, liked, or accepted by someone else.
I know. Easier said than done!
Especially when you’re figuring out friendships, crushes, relationships, and where you fit into this world.
But there’s something I want you to think about.
Who Told You?
In Genesis 3:11, God asked Adam a question:
“Who told you that you were naked?”
Think about that.
Adam and Eve had been naked all along. But after eating from the tree, they suddenly felt ashamed and wanted to hide.
Something changed in how they saw themselves.
And that makes me wonder how often the same thing happens to us.
Who told you that you weren’t pretty enough?
Who told you that your hair, your body, or your personality needed to change?
Who told you that someone else’s attention determines your worth?
Who told you that being rejected means you’re not good enough?
And when did you start believing them?
Because sometimes the things we believe about ourselves didn’t even start with us.
They started with someone else’s words.
Let Titi Tell You Something
People are going to have opinions about you.
Oh, are they EVER! 😂
And sometimes those opinions will come from people you really care about.
That’s what makes it difficult.
But just because someone has an opinion doesn’t mean they’re right.
And just because someone doesn’t recognize how wonderful you are doesn’t mean you’re any less wonderful.
I wish I could tell you that one day you’ll reach an age when other people’s opinions don’t bother you anymore.
But here I am, approaching fifty, still learning not to give certain voices more authority than they deserve!
Yep. Titi is still learning, too.
And that’s why this matters so much to me.
Because some of the things we start believing about ourselves as teenagers follow us into adulthood.
And I don’t want you spending decades trying to unlearn something that was never true about you in the first place.
But What Does God Say?
Now, you know Titi has to bring a little Scripture into this conversation! ❤️
When I find myself questioning what others say about me, I’m learning to return to what God says.
You are wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14.
You are loved. Jeremiah 31:3.
You were created with purpose. Ephesians 2:10.
Not because someone chose you, complimented you, or approved of you.
Your worth was never theirs to determine.
And if you don’t share my faith, I still hope you’ll hear the heart behind these words.
You don’t have to become someone else to deserve love and respect.
Please, Enjoy Being Young!
Sweet girl, you don’t have to rush!
Have crushes. Make friends. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Try new things. Discover what you love.
And yes, make mistakes!
We all did. Some of us more than others, but we’re not getting into all that today! 😂
Just remember:
Rejection doesn’t make you unlovable.
Making a mistake doesn’t make you a mistake.
And caring about someone doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself in the process.
You can love people and still have boundaries.
You can listen to advice without allowing every opinion to define you.
And you can be yourself without apologizing for it.
When I look at the teenage girls in my life, I don’t just see who they’re becoming.
I see how amazing they already are.
And I wish every one of you could see yourselves through the eyes of someone who genuinely loves you.
So the next time a voice makes you question your beauty, your abilities, or your worth, stop and ask:
Who told me?
And does that voice deserve the authority I’m giving it?
Before You Go, Let’s Pray
Father, thank You for these beautiful young ladies, the ones I know and love and the ones I may never meet. Protect their hearts as they navigate growing up. When the voices around them become louder than the truth, remind them who You say they are. Give them wisdom, confidence, and courage to be themselves. And when they don’t know who to believe or where to turn, remind them that they can always come to You.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Love you, girls!
Your Titi,
Jen ❤️